Sunday, 06 November 2005

Cheney Less Popular Than Adultery

As I'm sure you've heard, George Bush's approval rating has dropped to 35%. Dick Cheney's, meanwhile, is at 19%.

Of course, popularity is a relative notion. To put it in context, let's take a look at how the Puppetmaster's approval rating compares to a few other things:

According to previous surveys (scroll down in the link), the Vice-President is two points less popular than cheating on your spouse and seven points behind corporal punishment in schools. He trails the number of Americans who believe alien beings have secretly contacted the U.S. government by 18 points. Similarly, George Bush now trails the number of people who think astrology is scientific by five points.

Of course, there is a certain percentage of people who will believe any crazy-ass thing you can possibly imagine. For example, it would appear that there are around 35% of Americans who seem to believe secret prisons, endless war, and tax cuts for rich people are pretty good ideas.

Posted by flow Frazao on November 6, 2005 at 10:53 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, 20 December 2004

Bush From Down Under

After four years of America-style media saturation, it's interesting to be in Australia. I'm used to the media treating George Bush as either an awe-inspiring demigod or the devil incarnate.

Here, he is neither. They seem to treat him the way Kevin used to treat his older brother Wayne in The Wonder Years. He knows Wayne is mildly retarded, but he lives in constant fear of a beating so he has to be subtle.

I've seen more than a few articles this over the past few days. Nothing blatently offensive, but pretty clear nonetheless:

Bush refuses to 'negotiate with myself'

In Washington, there are plenty of ways to say "no comment," but US President George W Bush offered his own formulation today when he refused to "negotiate with myself in public".

Bush used the phrase to deflect a question on the future of Social Security at a televised news conference.

"Now, the temptation is going to be, by well-meaning people such as yourself and others here, as we run up to the issue, to get me to negotiate with myself in public," Bush told the questioner.

"To say, you know, "What's this mean, Mr President? What's that mean?

"I'm not going to do that. I don't get to write the law.

I'll propose a solution at the appropriate time," Bush said.

In essence, this Bushism means the president will discuss options on such issues as Social Security with members of Congress who write the law, but not with the media.

Asked to explain one facet of his Social Security policy, Bush agreed but said, "I will try to explain how without negotiating with myself. It's a very tricky way to get me to play my cards. I understand that."

Posted by SmooveJ Zao on December 20, 2004 at 08:25 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Thursday, 04 November 2004

View From Afar

In case you were wondering what the rest of the world is thinking:

Thanks to Alison for the tip.

Posted by flow Frazao on November 4, 2004 at 10:51 AM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Saturday, 09 October 2004

The Cycle of Democracy

Calabane pulls out a great quote in the comments. I haven't been able to get it out of my head so I'm putting it up on the front page because this is my blog and nobody's the boss of me:

The average age of the world's great civilizations has been two hundred years.

These nations have progressed through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith, from spiritual faith to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependency, from dependency back to bondage."

--Alexander Tyler's Thesis form the Cycle of Democracy

Also, on a totally unrelated note, check out the Bush flip-flops - J Peterman style.

Posted by flow Frazao on October 9, 2004 at 12:27 PM in Funny Bush, US News | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Friday, 08 October 2004

How many Bush officials does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. There's nothing wrong with that light bulb. It has served us honorably. When you say it's burned out, you're giving encouragement to the forces of darkness. Once we install a light bulb, we never, ever change it. Real men don't need artificial light.

Posted by flow Frazao on October 8, 2004 at 04:00 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Thursday, 09 September 2004

Bush.com Site Update

I don't know about you, but this is pretty much the only way I can stomach www.georgebush.com.

Thanks to matt for the link.

Posted by flow Frazao on September 9, 2004 at 10:22 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Saturday, 21 August 2004

Google Drops A Bomb

Type "Bush's foreign friends" into Google and click "I'm feeling lucky".

Posted by flow Frazao on August 21, 2004 at 02:17 AM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 18 August 2004

Iraq Without Me - The Real Hussein

This is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time.

Posted by flow Frazao on August 18, 2004 at 01:42 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bush Twins To Attend Gay Wedding

Why are the Bush twins trying to ruin my marriage?

When Washington-area beautician Erwin Gomez and his longtime partner James Packard celebrate their marital vows with 400 of their closest friends next month, two of Gomez's best customers will probably be in attendance: President Bush's twin daughters, Jenna and Barbara.

[...]

Never mind that their father supports a constitutional ban of gay marriages.

Heterosexual marriage, Bush said in February, is "the most enduring human institution" and "cannot be severed from its cultural, religious and natural roots without weakening the good influence of society."

Posted by SmooveJ Zao on August 18, 2004 at 01:23 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 21 July 2004

And I Want To Be Able To Breathe Underwater

The man is obviously either insane or retarded. Possibly both:

After launching two wars, President Bush said on Tuesday he wanted to be a "peace president" and took swipes at his Democratic rivals for being lawyers and weak on defense.

[...]

"The enemy declared war on us," Bush told a re-election rally in Cedar Rapids. "Nobody wants to be the war president. I want to be the peace president... The next four years will be peaceful years." Bush used the words "peace" or "peaceful" a total of 20 times.

George Bush would also like to be:

  • The Environmental President

  • The Balanced Budget President

  • The Complete Sentence President

  • The President Who Can Shoot Webs From His Wrists, Swing From Buildings And Save The Day



"I'm a war president. I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign policy matters with war on my mind."

- President Bush, 2/8/04

Posted by flow Frazao on July 21, 2004 at 07:52 AM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, 19 July 2004

Happy Captive Nations Week!

George Bush has issued an official proclamation declaring this week to be Captive Nations Week:

Each year during Captive Nations Week, the United States reaffirms our commitment to building a world where human rights, democracy, and freedom are respected and protected by the rule of law. As Americans, we believe the nonnegotiable demands of human dignity must be upheld without regard to race, gender, creed, or nationality. We stand in solidarity with those living under repressive regimes who seek democracy and peaceful changes in their homelands.

[...]

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim July 18 through July 24, 2004, as Captive Nations Week. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this week with appropriate ceremonies and activities and to reaffirm their commitment to all those seeking liberty, justice, and self-determination.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this sixteenth day of July, in the year of our Lord two thousand four, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and twenty-ninth.

GEORGE W. BUSH

Please allow me to clarify the situation. Iraq WAS a captive nation, you see. Now it is free and happy, even though America still has yet to transfer power to the Iraqis in anything but name.

Posted by flow Frazao on July 19, 2004 at 01:53 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sunday, 18 July 2004

This Land Is Your Land

Seriously though, this is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time.


Posted by flow Frazao on July 18, 2004 at 09:30 AM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Friday, 25 June 2004

Taking the Piss Out of Dick

In case you haven't heard, Dick Cheney can now add "pottymouth" to his already impressive resume:

Dick Cheney, who as president of the Senate was present for the picture day, turned to Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont and scolded the senator over his recent criticism of the vice president for Halliburton's alleged war profiteering.

[...]

In response to Cheney, Leahy reminded Cheney that the vice president had once accused him of being a bad Catholic, to which Cheney replied "go fuck yourself."


Luckily, this Administration forgot about "restoring honor and dignity to the White House" a long time ago. At least we have something to look forward to during the Presidential Campaign:
Great American Speeches (as remembered by Dick Cheney)

"Read my fucking lips..."

"Tear down this fucking wall motherfucker"

"Four score and seven fucking years ago"

"Today is a day that will live in fucking infamy"

"I am not a fucking crook"

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what the fuck you fuckers can fucking do for it"

"Bring it the fuck on"

"I have a dream. A glorious fucking dream"
(Thanks to PRRob over at the Whiskey Bar)

Posted by flow Frazao on June 25, 2004 at 12:41 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 16 June 2004

Bush on Religion

At yesterday's news conference, Bush was asked to respond to Ron Reagan's eulogy of his father on Saturday:

"Q He said that politicians should not wear religious faith on their sleeve. And a lot of Republicans interpreted those remarks as being critical of you and your position on stem cell. I'd like to ask you about that.

PRESIDENT BUSH: Whether or not a politician should wear their -- I've always said I think it's very important for someone not to try to take the speck out of somebody else's eye when they may have a log in their own. In other words, I'm very mindful about saying, you know, oh, vote for me, I'm more religious than my neighbor. And I think it's -- I think it's perfectly -- I think it's important for people of religion to serve. I think it is very important for people who are serving to make sure there is a separation of church and state."


Thanks for clearing that up.
Moron.

Posted by flow Frazao on June 16, 2004 at 04:12 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Friday, 04 June 2004

George Bush - Master of the Obvious

Bush then presented the pope with the medal, calling John Paul "a devoted servant of God."
No shit, Sherlock. He's the fucking Pope.

Posted by flow Frazao on June 4, 2004 at 12:26 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 02 June 2004

Why Do Umbrellas Hate America?



First of all, notice that the guy next to him doesn't seem to be having any trouble at all. Unless perhaps this was a "God tried to suck George Bush into the blades of the presidential helicopter" sort of event.

In any case, someone else might have assessed the situation, surmised that the umbrella was hopelessly screwy, and put it down instead of stubbornly holding it up as if nothing were seriously wrong. But that
wouldn't really be George Bush's style, would it?

Posted by flow Frazao on June 2, 2004 at 11:25 AM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 26 May 2004

Pathetic

It's only been in the news every day for the past two weeks:

Two rehearsals for his prime-time speech were not enough to keep U.S. President George W. Bush from mangling the name of the Abu Ghraib prison that brought shame to the U.S. mission in Iraq.

During the half-hour televised address, Bush mispronounced Abu Ghraib each of the three times he mentioned it while announcing U.S. plans to tear down the infamous jail and replace it with a new facility.

The prison, the scene of torture under Saddam Hussein and the setting for the Iraqi prison abuse scandal under the U.S. military, has a name that English speakers usually pronounce as "abu-grabe".

But the Republican president, long known for verbal and grammatical lapses, stumbled on the first try, calling it "abugah-rayp". The second version came out "abu-garon", the third attempt sounded like "abu-garah".

White House aides, who described the speech as an important address on the future of Iraq, said Bush practised twice on Monday before boarding his helicopter for his trip to the speaking venue at the U.S. Army War College in Carlisle, Pennsylvania.

link.

Posted by flow Frazao on May 26, 2004 at 09:26 AM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tuesday, 25 May 2004

Rampaging Cicadas Attack George Bush

Even the cicadas want Bush gone.


Posted by flow Frazao on May 25, 2004 at 11:59 PM in Funny Bush | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, 24 May 2004

What's That Up In the Sky?

It's a bird!

It's a plane!!

It's SUPER BUSH!!!

Yes, this is real. The ad linked to above was actually paid for by the Republican National Committee. I suppose this is the way the RNC views our President. Unfortunately, here's how the rest of the world sees him:





As a recent Kos diarist put it, "Finally, a leader that combines the intellect of Dan Quayle, the paranoia of Richard Nixon, and the physical dexterity of Gerald Ford."

Posted by flow Frazao on May 24, 2004 at 04:24 PM in Funny Bush, Weird Earls | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack