First Day of Substitute Teaching

7:30 AM - Writing B102
Today is my first day of substitute teaching. I'm working at Hall High School, which is where I graduated from in 1994. It's pretty strange being back, mainly because it hasn't changed at all. There are still couples making out in the same dark corners, and still huge groups of kids congregating in front of the gym. The main difference is that now they all have iPods instead of Walkmen.

Another thing I notice as I look around is that every single student has a 16 ounce bottle of Poland Spring water. Is this standard issue now? I wonder if you get in trouble should you be caught without your water bottle. It's strange - when I was here you weren't allowed to drink anything in class. I seem to remember some kind of fear that kids would be swigging vodka or something.

Right now I'm sitting in my first class. It's an English class - Writing, I think. Following the script that was sitting on the teacher's desk, I told the kids that they're supposed to work on a thesis statement and have their introductions done by the end of the period. I don't have a clue what they're introducing, nor do I care. Pretty much the only other thing I said to them is that it's way too early for any of us to be awake (7:30 AM), so as long as they're quiet I not much else matters.

Amazingly, I haven't had to say a single word since class started. Every single one of these kids is working. Part of me wants to yell at them "Hey, you! Misbehave!! What do you think this is? Some kind of cubicle job?"

9:25 AM - English 10 (Standard)
This is my third period of the day. Second period was English 10 (Honors) and there's a big difference between honors and standard. The teacher left me the following note:

"Give students a brief talk about behaving properly and tell them that there will be punishment if you leave me a poor report."

I read them that sentence and told them to consider that their brief talk. I also mentioned that 9:00 AM was way too early to be three hours into the day, and they would never have a job that started this early. One of the kids (who should be promoted to honors on principle) quickly responded "Well you have a job and YOU'RE up this early." I laughed in spite of myself, and then I gave him a paddlin'.

The honors kids were quiet and well behaved, and the standard kids are loud and funny. I gave both groups the exact same directions and the honors class did exactly as they were told. The standard kids, however, got the directions, read through the handout and told me I had to assign each group a question from the list of five.

Naturally, I said "Does it really matter? Just pick one and do it." One girl quickly piped up and told me that in fact it DID matter because of something having to do with the way the class was being taught. So I assigned them each a question. No skin off my back.

Eventually, one of the kids asked my name. Without thinking, I responded "Jeremy". The girl laughed and said, "No, we can't call you Jeremy we have to call you Mr. Whatever." I told her my last name and then she asked me some question about Catcher In the Rye about Holden's relationship with Phoebe.

I told her that it had been a long time since I'd read that book and I had forgotten that Phoebe was a character, much less how she's different from Selma Thurner. Then I mentioned that the only thing I remembered was that aside from a revolver and a signed Double Fantasy album, a dog-eared copy of Catcher In the Rye was the only other thing Mark David Chapman was carrying when he shot John Lennon. Apparently, the teacher skipped over that little factoid.

Another interesting distinction between the honors class and the standard class is that almost all of the honors kids seemed to be members of the Cult of the White Earbuds. I would conservatively estimate that around 75% of the students in the advanced class had iPods. However, in the standard class it seemed like only a handful had them. There were significantly more CD Players than MP3 players, and it makes me wonder how much socioeconomic standing factors into academic placement. Quite a lot, I would guess.

Study Hall
They played hangman almost the whole time. But it was boring because the only thing they could think of were TV shows and movies. A few of the mystery words were:

• Baywatch


• The Brothers Grimm


• The Godfather

Towards the end of the period, they progressed to drawing on the board. I suppose I should have made them be quiet and study, but I was more interested in seeing what a room full of 15 year olds would do if given 41 minutes of free time. The answer? Not much.

Posted by flow Frazao on January 10, 2006 at 11:56 PM in Little Stories, Me | Permalink