Avalon Airshow

For the past three months, Fiona has been working for Airshows Down Under. She got the job through a temp agency, and somehow she's managed to snag me a sweet volunteer position. I'm one of the two official Media Escorts for the Avalon Airshow. Basically, my job is to stand beside the photographer's circle and ensure that only people with Media passes enter the inner sanctum, which is literally right next to the runway.

Apparently, this is the biggest airshow in the southern hemisphere. They've got all kinds of planes - F-15s, F-16s, F18s, F-111s, C-17s, Blackhawks, and so on, and when those jets take off it's a hell of a thing. When the planes go hurtling down the runway you can feel their power. It's beyond loud - the force practically liquifies your bowels. It really appeals to the 9 year old boy in me.

I read an article a few days ago that was talking about the ecological effect of the airshow. The scientists (or whoever did the study) was surprised to find that the noise wasn't much of a problem. The biggest impact the planes have made is not from the roar of the engines, but from the intimidating shape of the planes.

It seems that all types of animals from wombats to eagles recognize the hawklike appearance of the planes as a dire threat. I believe it. When those fighter jets turn in toward the crowd they cut a figure that is scary as hell. It's almost like your brain responds on a reptilian level and your only thought is "That thing is about to fuck me up."

Of course, this isn't the Baghdad Airshow. Only the bogans will be getting fucked up, and it'll be by VB and not the Mother Of All Bombs (BTW - nobody drinks Foster's here).

From what I can tell airshows are all about triple rolls and the easy-looking-but-supposedly-very-difficult Four Point Turn. At least, that's what the announcers are always yammering on about. But between you and I it's nothing more than an excuse for grown up men to play with grown up GI Joe toys. They've got everything - tanks, planes, helicopters - even an ill-timed "Wall of Fire" that has yet to go off within five minutes of when it's supposed to. Yesterday it went off in the middle of a glider's flight. The announcer was like "And now, ladies and gentlemen, witness the glorious spectacle of silent flight." Two minutes later 40 massive explosions went off and sent up a 1,000 foot wall of flame.

At any rate, it gets me out of the house and I get to go check out some stuff I've never seen before. Tomorrow is the last trade day before the airshow is open to the public, so I'm sure things will get much more interesting when the Australian Nascar contingency comes out to play.

The awesome spectacle of silent flight.

(click below for a complete list of planes in the show)

MILITARY

AUSTRALIAN DEFENCE FORCE

RAAF

FA-18 Hornet 3
Hawk 3
F-111 3
PC9-A 2
AP3-C 2
C-130J 2
Caribou 2
Roulettes 6?
Sopwith Pup 1
Winjeel 1?
CT-4A 1

RAN

Seasprite 2
Sea King 1
Seahawk 2
Squirrel 3

ARMY

Bell 206B-1 4
UH-1 Iroquois 2
UH 70-A Blackhawk 4
CH-47 Chinook 2
ARH Tiger 1

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ROYAL AIR FORCE

Nimrod 1

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ROYAL NEW ZEALAND AIR FORCE

Boeing 757 1

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REPUBLIC OF SINGAPORE AIR FORCE

Super Puma 2

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US MILITARY

F-15 3
F-16 3
C17A 1
KC-10 1
KC-135 1
B-52 2?

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CIVILIAN AIRCRAFT

Aerochutes 4
Sea Fury 1
Grumman Avenger 1
Boomerang 1
Curtiss J4 Jenny 1
DC-3 2?
DH Drover 1
Edge 540 1
Edge Airtourer 160 1
Wilga 1
Super Constellation 1
Catalina 1
C-47 1
P-40 Kittyhawk 1
Wirraway 1
Mustang 3
Nieuport 1
Airvans 5?
Pitts S1S 1
Beech Debonair 1
Harvards 4
(Southern Knights)
Storch 1
DH 82 Tiger Moths 3

US PAID PERFORMERS

Powered hang glider
Dan Buchanan

Quicksilver MXL11 Ultralight
Bob Essell & daughter wing walking

Self-launching sailplane
Steve Coan

Stearman
Eddie Andreini & wing walker

Posted by flow Frazao on March 16, 2005 at 05:49 AM in Australia | Permalink