I was just thinking about

I was just thinking about why I can't stop reading about Bush and all the lies and about how everything is all fucked up. what is it? why am i so drawn to this drama? is it just filling up the emptiness in my life? i mean, i think about how when i was travelling i'd literally go for weeks without reading a paper or seeing the news. and i remember not missing it one bit. every now and then i would concsiously note that i didn't miss the news. but seeing as that's what i spend the majority of my day doing, what does that say? i'll spend hours every day sitting in front of my computer waiting for the next tidbit of information to trickle out. i've got to stop this. it's making me mediocre. i know i have the capacity to be interesting and successful and full of life and inspiration, but i have to get off my fat ass first. so what is it that draws me in? this is what i've come to: i look back on my days of travelling, my days of being more me than i've ever been, and i remember a guy who wasn't sucked in by the news or the movies or fucking fantasy baseball or any of that superficial, meaningless drivel. when i had finally shed all my distractions and for the first time was open to the whole expanse of meaning all at once what was it that made its way through to me? what was the one thing that i focused on when my eyes were finally open and i could really see for the first time? at the one moment in time when i was most in tune with the vibrations of the universe Fiona stepped out from the shadows and said: "I've been looking for you."

Posted by flow Frazao on July 15, 2003 at 01:27 AM | Permalink