Circles

Yesterday Jeremy and I had to give Grandma some news about one of her children who is very ill. We were the ones to tell her, hold her, listen to her, comfort her. Today we were supported Grandma as she processed everything. I have learned that grieving is a very important part of life. It is a necessary step before acceptance, which is a necessary step before peace. And the most beneficial thing anyone can do is to step back and let the grieving take its place. Somehow I see a beauty in this process. Somehow it is impossible for me to see the sadness, the wishes that things might be different, the anger and the frustration at life. Somehow all I can see is the beauty of life, without which the pain would not exist. Tears make me smile in gratitude of a mother's love, cries of anguish fill me with joy in appreciation for the kind of love which breaks a heart and the emptiness of loss reminds me of just how full life can be. Maybe that makes me weird, even insensitive. But that's just who I am. Life is continuing for us here and I have begun entering family history into a genealogy program which I purchased called Heredis. Our pace may have slowed down, but we are still living our lives, still laughing and still feeling. There would not be bitter without sweet, and there would not be grief without love.